Choosing Your Wedding Party
Choosing your wedding party can seem like a difficult thing to do especially when family politics or other peoples expectations come into play. Here’s our advice for how to handle choosing your wedding party
1. Consider your expectations
Have a think about what exactly you would be expecting from your wedding party. Do you want them to be involved in the planning stages or are you happy for them to turn up on the day in their wedding attire? There’s nothing wrong with either of these or for you to pick several people and have different expectations for them but don’t pick someone you know would struggle to fulfil what you want from them and then be upset when they can’t do everything you’d like them to.
2. Consider budgets & who will be paying
Here at Peony & Penny, we do believe that it’s the engaged couples responsibility to cover at least the cost of the outfits for the day. It’s a bit unfair to ask someone to be a part of your day and then expect them to pay for a dress or suit that they would never have necessarily picked for themselves or an outfit they would never wear again.
If you’ll need them to contribute then be upfront about this from the beginning and be open to them choosing something for themselves. For any bridesmaids, for e.g., you may ask if they’d mind paying for their makeup & hair but be understanding if they choose to do this themselves to save costs. You may ask groomsmen to get their own shoes, but let them pick any shoe they’d like or even wear shoes they already have.
If you are going to cover all costs then consider what you can afford. Whilst its a nice idea to have all your friends group up there with you on the day, your budget may not be able to stretch that far.
Also, think about the budgets of the people you want to ask. Even if you’re paying for their outfits etc, being part of a wedding can be expensive once you take into account hen/stag dos etc.
3. Try to manage other peoples expectations
This is when choosing your wedding party can be tricky and we believe that the best way to deal with other people and their expectations is to be honest as soon as you’ve made your decision.
You may have friends who assume they’ll be chosen or family members who want you to choose other family members. Nip this in the bud as soon and as kindly as possible to save yourself stress further down the line. Think of alternative responsibilities you could give them: could they do a reading? do you need a master of ceremonies? If possible, speak to them face to face or give them a call to talk it all through properly and to avoid anything being misinterpreted.
4. So, who do you choose?
There should be no rules for who you have in your wedding party. Friends, family? It doesn’t matter as long as they’re the people that you want. Stick to your guns and don’t ask someone just because you feel you have to.
We find that a good way to go about it is to consider who the first people you wanted to tell about the engagement were. Chances are these were the people who you go to when you need advice, the people who you go to when you need support, the people who you go to to celebrate any sort of good news in your life. In short, they’re your wedding party.